Chuck Norris

[Vodoinstalater]

[Mad]

hehehehe... di njega nade... Čaki

[ludiabra]

Bile su tu one činjenice o čaku tu... imam ja na eng. jel da stavim ?

[Vodoinstalater]

Ma stavi tako da imamo sve na jednom mjestu o Čaku!

[eowyn]

Kako to da Tezvi nije vidio ovu temu

[ludiabra]

Evo ga milijun i nešto(dobro nije sad toliko)facts o njemu !

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

The term "carnivore" was invented after Chuck Norris was spotted at a carnival eating babies.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

Chuck Norris kills Asians in his spare time because he hates it when people squint at him.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

As a youngster, Chuck Norris promised himself he wouldn't cry. Last year, his beloved mother died and a single tear fell out of his eye and down his cheek. He immediately roundhouse kicked himself for breaking his promise

Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas

Chuck Norris enjoys popcorn at the movies, but is always disappointed with the portions. Upon threatening management with roundhouse kicks they quickly introduced a new sizing scale for the buttery treat: small, medium, large, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is so manly that men who are not attracted to his penis are considered gay

In 500 years, pure energy will be observable under a very sophisticated microscope. When viewed, you will be able to see millions of Chuck Norrises doing roundhouse kicks nonstop at an incredible rate. When this happens, Chuck will emerge from his grave after a long sleep, stretch his arms and casually say, "I cannot be created or destroyed."

Chuck Norris' sperm can be visibly seen thrashing about like fish out of water.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Every dinosaur skull ever found has the imprint of a size 15 cowboy boot on its jaw. Scientists are baffled, but we know damn well why.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13, 000 percent.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch, " Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's ____ing head off.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Jack Bauer told Chuck Norris that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Chuck told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Chuck snapped Jack's neck into 24 pieces.

God prays to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was once accused of heresy by the Pope, but as it turns out, Chuck Norris is, in fact, the true son of god.

Chuck Norris' lips are never chapped. When he feels his lips getting dry, he roundhouse kicks the nearest person in the face and moistens his lips with their blood.

One time a kid came up to Chuck Norris and said, "My name is Chuck, too." Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked kid in the head and said, "Your name is now Mentally retarded kid."

Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.

Contrary to popular opinion, Rocky beat Drago in Rocky IV because Chuck Norris interfered and delivered a roundhouse kick to Drago's face when no one was looking.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Scientists have attempted to calculate the statistical possibilty of anyone beating Chuck Norris. The sheer impossibility of this task has caused many of the scientists to develop symptoms of severe foot-shaped bruising to the face.

A vampire tried to bite Chuck Norris and chipped a tooth. A werewolf tried to bite Chuck Norris and choked to death on Norris' skin cells flaking off. Needless to say, Norris has never lost any blood, ever.

Chuck Norris knows that George W. Bush is lying when he says he is doing everything he can to hunt down Osama bin Laden because Bush has not yet consulted Norris nor the A-team.

Chuck Norris is the only known human that can perform photosynthesis. However, he refuses to do so because, "Converting light energy into nutrients is for pussies."

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability
of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris
you may be only seconds away from death.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for
Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes
only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not
had to pay taxes... ever.

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in
the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami
Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football
history.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid
of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of
life there.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you
know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this
man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw,
was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first
45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris only does the Total Gym infomercials as community service for
killing old people and babies.

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually
roundhouse kick you yesterday.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from
anybody.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

For all your Chuck Norris needs (and because he says so... visit Chuck Norris facts. They're all true... or Chuck Norris will kill you.

[goc23]

Jedini pravi teksaški renđer, nebopjediv je ha,ha,ha.

[debos]

isuse boze! ov je presmijesno!!!!!!!!!!!! e ja rigam suze!!!!!!!!! Chuck je zakon!!!!!!!

[niksy]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g

[Ive_ri]

Chuck legenda