Slovenia

[Joks]

Slovenia


Image:Pick-a-pixel.jpg
Usually a map goes here. However, in the case of Slovenia it would be an overkill. Just pick any pixel on your monitor. It'll do.


"Oh, I thought you meant Slovakia."
~ Oscar Wilde on Slovenia


Slovenia is a former part of the Yugoslavia It was formed in 1991 by a Janez that built a parking lot on the Austrian-Croatian border. The man who remained anonymous is referred to as God in Slovenia. Actually, the guy built it illegaly so the United States of Armenia decided to tear it down! (But they can't find it on the map.)

Info

In lack of real history and population, they took Kekec, an imaginary character from a single book representing Slovenian literature, and declared him as national hero. Kekec’s favorite fruit was plum and he was gay.

Slovenia has a population of three half-goat anonymous guys formally known as Janez, a sheep, and a half of a fish in a bucket of salted water (which represents the supreme sea; previously was two fish named Urška and Mojca but Mojca ate Urška and half of herself)

The national religion is a pagan worship of an eagle with three silicon breasts (wich are shown on Slovenia's coat of arms)

Nostradamus claims that Slovenia is the ultra hidden penthouse-kingdom of God, full of naked nuns which are actually proven to be the source of the Apocalypse

There is an urban legend that the Slovenians are a nation.

One of the guys is fat, so he had to ask for a dual citizenship, so he is Slovenian and Croatian now. That means that the population is 2 and a half.

The Slovenian alps consist of a foothill near the parking lot.

The national sport is micro skiing. Normal sized skies are longer than the country. On one occasion slovenians caused the World War of Warcraft with Austria, while trying to ski on baby sized skis.

The Slovenians claim that they invented the Pope, actually it was Karaguz Milošević who did it.

The most famous person in Slovenia is JESMO.Due to his astonishing long hear, he has seduces most of the young boys in Slovenia.There is even one trash can called "I am JESMO".There is no more information about this guy,but it´s been ruomored that JESMO is in big debts,and is selling his body for money on Dolac.There is no confirmation of that,but that´s most likely to be truth,speciallly if we know that he has sold his beloved Nissan SXYZG for 2000 forints.

There is also a terrorist group called Gengstaz With Lowriders, Bling-Bling and Uzis - GWLBBU.

When Slovenia enter the NATO organisation, China was so scared of the fact that no one actually knows where that country is located that they proclame it as a State enemy No1 and stop with their nucleare program

Well known athlete, Anze Kopitar is the first Slovenian player in NHL and he won almost all trophys and get lot of points skating circle with the puck. He's also the most famous person in Slovenia, and due to his nationality he's living in Sweden and playing icehockey there nowadays.


Industry

The economy staple of Slovenia is a bottle of goat milk per day (the guys milk their goat pairs). They also have a nuclear powerplant in Krško (it's a former rose garden).

The three guys have a band with no name. They play very rarely 'cause the Austrians complain to loud music. One of the guys played an accordian, but he stopped after being arrested several times by both the Croatian and Austrian border police for crossing the border with the accordian while playing without the passport.

The Slovenian people have decided to build another powerplant near the Austian border, but Austrians gave them two "Duracell" batteries so that they never need extra power again.

They have only one cleaning lady and she works part-time. She cleans the whole of Slovenia and then goes home.


Motto: "You wanna bomb Slovenia? You're in the wrong country, Slovenia is up there near the Czech Republic."
Anthem: "Zdravljica."
Capital: Maribor
Largest city: {{{largest_city}}}
Official languages: Slovenian, Italian, Hungarian
National Hero(es): Martin Krpan, Peter Klepec, Kekec , Tomo Križar, Srečko Katanec , Fredy Miler, Mobisux


Slovenia

[dj_rush1]

ma neda mi se citat...al eto vjerujem ti da je fora....

[xxxx95]

Kako slovenci mjere ubrzanje?
od 0 do granice...hahahahahaha

[xxxx95]

ZASTO SLOVENAC NESMIJE CUCNIT?
PRIJECI CE U DRUGU DRZAVU...

[icegirl]

moj najjači je:

šta naši nogometaši na pripremama rade za zagrijavanje?
- optrčavaju sloveniju po državnoj granici

[omahen]

U Ljubljani na terasi jednog hotela, Hrvat doručkuje šnitu kruha s marmeladom. Dolazi do njega Janez i žvaće žvakaću gumu.
Pita njega Janez:
- Ali pa vi pojeste celo šnito kruha?
Hrvat mu odgovori:
-Da.
Veli Janez:
- Mi pak ne. Mi pojemo samo sredino in trdo koro bacimo v reciklažo. Potem pa od tega napravimo dvopek in ga prodamo Hrvatom.
Nastavi Janez žvakati žvakaću i opet pita Hrvata:
- Ali pa vi pojeste celo marmelado?
Hrvat odgovori:

> - Da.
> Janez mu veli:

- Mi pak ne. Mi pojemo samo tisto v marmeladi kaj je mehko, a koščice in koro bacimo v reciklažo. Potem pa to recikliramo in prodamo Hrvatem.
Janez nastavi žvakati žvakaću, a Hrvat njega pita:
- Da li se vi Slovenci seksate?
- Seveda, da da - i nastavi žvakati
- I što radite s upotrebljenim prezervativima?
- Je kaj...? Jih pa bacimo.
- E vidiš, mi ih recikliramo, od njih napravimo žvakaće gume i prodamo ih Slovencima!

[crni_vrag]

Kako Slovenci mjere ubrzanje automobila?
Od 0 do granice!

Gdje se radi nova staza za F1?
Oko Slovenije

- Zašto letaci na Planici ne lete preko 250 metara?
- Jer bi skocili u Italiju.

[irm]

najjači vic meni

Majne humor thread

[omahen]

Koja je razlika izmedju komaraca i Slovenaca?
Komaraci nerviraju samo ljeti, a Slovenci tijekom cijele godine

[fat_boy_slim]

Išli Slovenci na sastanak u Kinu pregovarati za posao.
Pita Kinez: koliko je vas Slovenaca?
Slovenac: 2 miliona.
Kinez: Dobro, u kojem ste hotelu?